Joy of Satan, what is the meaning of this?

I have seen over 9000 people promoting this site on here. As someone who has experimented in the occult I find it both fascinating and confusing. What would one have to do to get these blessings from "Father" Satan as they refer to him as? I do not like to do rituals very much so a dedication rite is out of the question at the moment. This seems very interesting, perhaps I could get my life working now? However, I ordered a haunted pendant on ebay that has the spirit of an old vampire in it (do not laugh, I am serious and look forward to bonding with her when I receive it in the mail tomorrow or Friday). Perhaps she could help me as well with the things I'd like in life? If not, then I hope she can tell me the truth about all these religions. So, a question for those involved in Spiritual Satanism. What do you guys do exactly?